No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
