even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
be right there i have to get my cape
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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