I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
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