there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
last night I used snow as a chaser
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
