My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
