Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
