East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
