the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
