Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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