I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
