Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
