she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
