yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
