We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize