Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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