So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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