Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Acid is not a monday night drug
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
then he tried to convert me to islam
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
