My first STD was from a foam party
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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