good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
