Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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