her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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