I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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