She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
