Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Randomize
