I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
