thus making me awesome and them whores
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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