Cold hands, warm shart.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
