I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
my sisters under your porch take her home
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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