I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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