she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
