my mouth tastes like poor choices
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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