I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize