we have pet lesbian snakes
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
