And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
