lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
