do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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