someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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