drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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