Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
