The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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