Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
