Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
