Well apparently he's into motor boating.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
