I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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