Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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