I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
