she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
