took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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