Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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