Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
