Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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