wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
