And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize