If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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