I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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