I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
