Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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