I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I have post one night stand depression
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