Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
