I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
