Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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