I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
