Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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