i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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