The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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