PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
