i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
